this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
