grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
