your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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