I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
