I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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