I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
