Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
