Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
