Are we in a gay sports bar?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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