and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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