Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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