We are two peas in an std pod
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
