I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
