Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
