i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
