Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
