I wish I could teleport
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
