Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
