Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
