I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
