smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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