just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
