i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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