i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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