How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
