First date: that requires underwear, huh?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
wow bdsm is so cute
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
