How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
