i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
