About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
