The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
