So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
