no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
