he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
