His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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