It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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