dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
