It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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