You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
