I cannot find my penis.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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