absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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