I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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