how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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