whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
