Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
