My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
