i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
A+ Viking dick
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
