People with herpes should wear stickers.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
