So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
