dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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