y did u give ur computer a hand job?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
