do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
