you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
birth control should be required to get into college
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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