She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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