i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
